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When Japanese workers retire, they receive their retirement pay in one lump sum. That amount is said to be the equivalent of what they earn in three or three and a half years.
A long-suffering wife who has not communicated with her husband other than in areas of meeting his physical needs often sees that sum as consolation money to be used as a chance to make a new start in life. And actually, I read that the number of divorces upon the retirement of the husband is increasing in Japan.
A husband would undoubtedly be shocked if asked for a divorce upon retirement. But no matter how eloquently that husband might now communicate his desire to continue married life, if he had talked with her only about “eating, bathing, and sleeping,” there is very little likelihood that his wife would agree to continue the marriage.
And if that husband were to lose his temper and use words in anger to coerce his wife into remaining with him, he would fall even deeper into the animal world where there are no words and life is lived on an instinctual level.
On the other hand, I understand that many American husbands (including nikkei husbands, of course) kiss their wives morning and evening, and coo sweetly, “I love you. I love you.”
A Japanese writer wrote the following about American marriages: “Since the United States is a society bound by legal contracts, if a husband and wife are no longer in love, they simply cancel the contract that is referred to as “marriage.” But the hus- band loses a great deal if the marriage contract is broken because communal property will be divided and alimony must be paid. Thus, confirming that the contract between them is still valid and is very important. That is why they kiss in the morning and say “I love you” and repeat it in the evening. If we were to properly translate the phrase “I love you” into Japanese it would read “I still love you.” In other words, it really means, “I still have no desire to break our marriage contract.”
I hasten to repeat that the above was written by a Japanese
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